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Remember in the movie Dirty Dancing when “Baby” trained to dance with “Johnny”? Remember how good she looked and then you saw her with “Penny”? Baby was twice the size of Penny! But, separately, they both looked great! When I compared them, Baby didn’t measure up. That really stuck with me.
Well, the other day I was feeling pretty good about the way I looked. It was a rare moment, so I remember it. I’ve been insecure about my looks for as long as I can recall. To top off the insecurity, I became heavier than ever. But on this day the weight I had gained over the last three years (or more!) wasn’t bothering me. I had lost a little and wasn’t running from mirrors. Good thing because I stepped onto an elevator with a large mirror surrounding me. As I looked at myself, I thought, “Ok, I look pretty good right now.” At that moment a woman my age stepped onto the elevator and I was twice her size. Seriously. Talk about a mood crusher. Now suddenly I didn’t feel like I looked good at all.
People usually want to look good for their reunions. My 30th one is this weekend. I’m excited about it but I did have a moment of feeling bad when I saw this woman named Nancy from my class. She’s pretty much perfect looking. Yes, you hate her a bit, don’t you? But, she also seems very nice. Now, you can’t hate her! I’m going anyway, even though I’m sure there will be a lot of “Nancys.”
You know what? It really is okay that Nancy looks better than me. Can any of us ever measure up? Someone will always be younger (or younger looking), prettier, smarter, funnier, richer, or whateverer (yes, I like making up new words). I’ll never be Nancy. You may not be Nancy. But guess what? Nancy isn’t me either and she isn’t you. We each have unique things about ourselves. You are unique just like everyone else!
For me it’s really about being the best me and even trying to be a better me. And, that’s my hope for you. Quit looking at “Nancy”! Work on feeling good about yourself and who you are, because you really are good enough.
Dr. Susan Harrison; thewikiwomenacademy.com; author of Difficult Conversations Just for Women #moxienetwork #womensempowerment #motivationalspeakers